Awesome answers In IAS Examination

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23rd Rank Opted for IFS)

Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands. (Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple ?
A: The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A: Dinner.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A: Liquid (UPSC 33 Rank)

Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question." "Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked.
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
He was selected for IIM!

Sardar writes to bill gates

Sardarji writes to Bill Gates about the PC and Windows problems:

• My child learned MS WORD now he wants MS SENTECE.
• I fine only RE-CYCLE but no RE-SCOOTER, I need that as I own VESPA SCOOTER.
• I see MS OFFICE but I need MS HOME as I use PC at home.
• Finaly, How is that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS.

Funny Software joke

Are you know the solution of Hair fall, skin problem,and etc problem
...
...
...
Answer: The Only solution is use "PhotoShop"

Poems written by husband to wife

I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then
I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light .
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

Roses are red, Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you.

Funny Job Application

This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald's restaurant in Florida....and they hired him because he was so honest and funny.

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Was less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and 'post-it' notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It ****ed.

AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That's why I'm applying.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 – 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50lbs?: 50lbs. of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? : I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

Rajinikanth can do anything

• Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
• When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. ...He is pushing the earth down.
• There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
• Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
• Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
• Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover.
• Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
• Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
• Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
• Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
• Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
• Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.
• Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
• The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
• Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.
• Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
• Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
• Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
• Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
• Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
• Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.
• Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
• Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
• Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.
• Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
• The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
• Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.
• Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.
• Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
• Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
• Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.
• Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
• Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.
• Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
• Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.
• Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
• Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
• Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
• Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
• Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The result? Mother Teresa.
• Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.
• Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
• Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
• Rajinikanth puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter.
• Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
• Rajinikanth can handle the truth.
• Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
• Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.
• Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.
• Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
• Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.
• Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet.
• Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
• Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
• Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
• The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
• Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
• Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
• Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.
• Rajinikant can lick his elbows.
• Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
• Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
• Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
• Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.
• When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult.
• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
• Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
•  The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.
• When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.
• Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
• Rajinikanth knows what women really want.
• Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.
• Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
• As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.
• Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon - HoneyMoon.
• Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
• Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
• Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's.
• Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths.
• To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.
• The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajinikanth's fist.
• Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.
• Rajinikanth's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.
• Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.
• Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikant”.
• There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
• Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
• Rajinikanth is a champion in the game "Hide n' seek", as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
• Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
• Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
• Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.
• We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
• If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth.
• Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.
• Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
• When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
• Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
• Rajinikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
• Rajnikanth doesn’t answer nature’s call nature answers Rajnikanth’s call.
• Rajnikanth can double click 2 icons at the same time.

Difference between Love and Marriage

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arriving on tops curvy tarmac.

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

TV has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"

MD at loss

On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the company noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.

He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you earn?"

The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?"

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, "Around here I pay people for working,not for standing around looking pretty!

Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.

Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, "And that applies to everybody in this company".

He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man I just fired?"

To which an amazing reply came - "He was the pizza delivery boy , Sir!"

Funny Newton laws for Software Engineer

• Law 1: Every Software Engineer continues his state of chatting or forwarding mails unless he is assigned work by manager.
• Law 2: The rate of change in the software is directly proportional to the payment received from client and takes place at the quick rate as when deadline force is applied.
• Law 3: For every Use Case Manifestation there is an equal but opposite Software Implementation.
• Law 4: Bugs can neither be created nor be removed from software by a developer. It can only be converted from one form to another. The total number of bugs in the software always remains constant.