Rajinikanth can do anything

• Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
• When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. ...He is pushing the earth down.
• There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
• Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
• Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
• Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover.
• Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
• Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
• Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
• Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
• Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
• Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.
• Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
• The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
• Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.
• Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
• Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
• Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
• Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
• Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
• Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.
• Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
• Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
• Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.
• Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
• The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
• Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.
• Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.
• Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
• Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
• Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.
• Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
• Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.
• Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
• Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.
• Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
• Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
• Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
• Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
• Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The result? Mother Teresa.
• Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.
• Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
• Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
• Rajinikanth puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter.
• Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
• Rajinikanth can handle the truth.
• Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
• Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.
• Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.
• Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
• Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.
• Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet.
• Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
• Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
• Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
• The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
• Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
• Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
• Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.
• Rajinikant can lick his elbows.
• Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
• Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
• Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
• Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.
• When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult.
• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
• Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
•  The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.
• When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.
• Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
• Rajinikanth knows what women really want.
• Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.
• Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
• As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.
• Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon - HoneyMoon.
• Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
• Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
• Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's.
• Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths.
• To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.
• The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajinikanth's fist.
• Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.
• Rajinikanth's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.
• Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.
• Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikant”.
• There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
• Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
• Rajinikanth is a champion in the game "Hide n' seek", as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
• Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
• Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
• Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.
• We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
• If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth.
• Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.
• Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
• When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
• Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
• Rajinikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
• Rajnikanth doesn’t answer nature’s call nature answers Rajnikanth’s call.
• Rajnikanth can double click 2 icons at the same time.