New Year Quotations

• Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. ~Bill Vaughn
• An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. ~Bill Vaughan
• Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits. ~Author Unknown
• A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. ~Author Unknown
• Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. ~Benjamin Franklin
• No one ever regarded the First of January with indifference. It is that from which all date their time, and count upon what is left. It is the nativity of our common Adam. ~Charles Lamb
• New Year's Day is every man's birthday. ~Charles Lamb
• Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty. ~John Selden
• Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. ~Hal Borland
• The merry year is born Like the bright berry from the naked thorn. ~Hartley Coleridge
• New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights. ~Hamilton Wright Mabie
• The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months! ~Edward Payson Powell
• Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right. ~Oprah Winfrey
• Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
• ~Alfred, Lord Tennyson, 1850
• The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. ~P.J. O'Rourke
• Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past. ~Henry Ward Beecher
• New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. ~Mark Twain
• The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. ~George William Curtis
• For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning. ~T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"
• We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day. ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce
• Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever. ~Mark Twain
• People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. ~Author Unknown
• And ye, who have met with Adversity's blast, And been bow'd to the earth by its fury; To whom the Twelve Months, that have recently pass'd Were as harsh as a prejudiced jury - Still, fill to the Future! and join in our chime,
• The regrets of remembrance to cozen, And having obtained a New Trial of Time, Shout in hopes of a kindlier dozen. ~Thomas Hood
• Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go. ~Brooks Atkinson
• Each age has deemed the new-born year The fittest time for festal cheer. ~Walter Scott
• Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. ~Oscar Wilde
• Glory to God in highest heaven, Who unto man His Son hath given; While angels sing with tender mirth, A glad new year to all the earth. ~Martin Luther
• A new oath holds pretty well; but... when it is become old, and frayed out, and damaged by a dozen annual retryings of its remains, it ceases to be serviceable; any little strain will snap it. ~Mark Twain, speech in New York City, 31 March 1885
• But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty? I live according to twenty-year-old habits. ~Andre Gide
• When then is lost, as time is by, we look upon the yearly wine to see our substance in the lees. Did tribe and purse most pleasing leave? To look for clear and faithful sense, that gives a bodied stance bouquet, then see the vat at mirror's face and find in it, the yearly pace. ~E. Marshall, Vintner Epilogue (Happy Old Year)
• Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year's resolutions, and I've stuck with it ever since. ~Dave Beard
• I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on New Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second. ~Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones's Diary
• New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. ~Jay Leno
• We meet today To thank Thee for the era done, And Thee for the opening one. ~John Greenleaf Whittier
• One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things. ~John Burroughs
• Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. ~Charles Lamb
• A happy New Year! Grant that I May bring no tear to any eye When this New Year in time shall end Let it be said I've played the friend, Have lived and loved and labored here, And made of it a happy year. ~Edgar Guest
• It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets. ~William Thomas
• We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential. ~Ellen Goodman
• May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions. ~Joey Adams
• He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool. ~F.M. Knowles
• The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective. ~G.K. Chesterton
• I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the year's. ~Henry Moore
• Time has no divisions to mark its passage, there is never a thunder-storm or blare of trumpets to announce the beginning of a new month or year. Even when a new century begins it is only we mortals who ring bells and fire off pistols. ~Thomas Mann
• I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me. ~Anaïs Nin
• Why won't they let a year die without bringing in a new one on the instant, can't they use birth control on time? I want an interregnum. The stupid years patter on with unrelenting feet, never stopping - rising to little monotonous peaks in our imaginations at festivals like New Year's and Easter and Christmas - But, goodness, why need they do it? ~John Dos Passos, 1917
• New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions. ~Mark Twain
• Every man regards his own life as the New Year's Eve of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
• The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears. ~W.H. Auden

Happy Healthy New Year 2012

May Your Hair, Your Teeth,
Your Face-Lift, Your Abs And
Your Stocks Not Fall;
And May Your Blood Pressure,
Your Triglycerides,
Your Cholesterol,
Your White Blood Count And
Your Mortgage Interest Not Rise.
Happy Healthy New Year 2012

May the new year bring these wishes

May the new year
Bring these wishes to all of you
Warmth of love, comfort of home
Joy for your children,
Company and support of family n friends
A caring heart that accepts
N treats all human beings equally
Enrichment of knowledge n
Richness of diversity
Courage to seek n speak the truth
Even if it means standing alone
Hopes n dreams of a just world n
The desire to make it happen
A light to guide your path
Helping hands to strengthen unity
Serenity n peace within your mind,
Heart n soul
Food for thought n soul
A hand to hold

General Christmas Quotes

• "Wishing you a wonderful Christmas and happy holidays."
• "May we all show each other the love and patience that we may not deserve this Christmas.  This is the true spirit of Christmas."
• "It's easy to get caught up in all the business of Christmas, but I'm wishing you a peaceful Christmas full of the most important things."
• "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! May you be surrounded by all the things that bring Christmas cheer."
• "May you be reminded of all the most important things in your life this Christmas. Merry Christmas!"
• "We hope you are surrounded by beauty and comfort this Christmas season."
• "Blessings, love, and peace to you this Christmas."
• "Hoping you can feel love, joy, and peace this Christmas season."
• "The beauty of the Christmas season can remind us of all the beauty in life that we take for granted. Our family, our friends, and our faith."
• "Keep Christmas a time of celebration and love. Don't let Christmas become a chore. Don't let Christmas bring strife to your home."

Say "Merry Christmas" in Different languages

Here is a list of how to say "Merry Christmas" in different languages. These could be interesting to use for various reasons. Look for a few that have been made up to be funny.

• Alien: (transmitted directly into your mind)
• Arabic: Milad Majid
• Baby Talk: Merr Kissmus
• Chinese: (Cantonese) Gun Tso Sun Tan'Gung Haw Sun
• Chinese: (Mandarin) Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan
• Danish: Glædelig Jul
• Dutch: Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar! or Zalig Kerstfeast
• English: Merry Christmas
• French: Joyeux Noel
• German: Fröhliche Weihnachten
• Greek: Kala Christouyenna!
• Hawaiian: Mele Kalikimaka
• Hebrew: Mo'adim Lesimkha. Chena tova
• Hindi: Meri Christmas
• Iraqi: Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
• Italian: Buone Feste Natalizie
• Japanese: Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto
• Korean: Sung Tan Chuk Ha
• Philippines: Maligayang Pasko!
• Pig Latin: ErryMay IstmasChray
• Russian: Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva is Novim Godom
• Spanish: Feliz Navidad
• Vietnamese: Chuc Mung Giang Sinh

How to wish "Happy Birthday" in different languages

Birthday is one of those occasions where the strong emotional bonds, warmth of heartfelt best wishes go beyond the barrier of language and sincere and cordial birthday wish always becomes successful in conveying with its true glory.

Here is a list which will help you to wish "Happy Birthday" in different languages of the world.

Brazil: Parabéns a você! nesta data querida muitas felicidades e muitos anos de vida.
Chinese-Cantonese: Sun Yat Fai Lok!
Chinese-Mandarin: qu ni sheng er kuai le
Croatian: Sretan Rodendan!
Czech: Vsechno nejlepsi k Tvym narozeninam!!
Danish: Tillykke med fodselsdagen!
Dutch: Hartelijk gefeliciteerd! or Van harte gefeliciteerd met je verjaardag!
Esperanto: Felichan Naskightagon!
Farsi: Tavalodet Mobarak!
Finnish: Hyvaa syntymapaivaa!
French (Canada): Bonne Fete!
French: Joyeux Anniversaire!
German: Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
Greek: Eytyxismena Genethlia! or Chronia Pola!
Hawaiian: Hau`oli la hanau!
Hebrew: Yom Huledet Same'ach!
Hungarian: Boldog szuletesnapot! or Isten eltessen!
Italian: Buon Compleanno!
Japanese: Otanjou-bi Omedetou Gozaimasu!
Russian: S dniom razhdjenia! or Pazdravliayu s dniom razhdjenia!
Spanish: Feliz Cumpleaños!
Swedish: Grattis på födelsedagen
Taiwanese: San leaz quiet lo!
Thai: Suk San Wan Keut!
Ukrainian: Mnohiya lita! or Z dnem narodjennia!

Betty Botter's Better Batter

Betty Botter had some butter,
But she said, this butter's bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter,
It would make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter,
That would make my batter better."
So she bought a bit of butter –
Better than her bitter butter –
And she baked it in her batter;
And the batter was not bitter.
So it was better Betty Botter
Bought a bit of better butter.

Ned Nott and Sam Shott

Ned Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not.
So it is better to be Shott than Nott.
Some say Nott was not shot.
But Shott says he shot Nott.
Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot,
Or Nott was shot.
If the shot Shott shot shot Nott, Nott was shot.
But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott,
Then Shott was shot, not Nott.
However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott, but Nott.

Ringa Ringa Roses... lyrics

Ringa Ringa Roses
Pocket full of Poses
Husha! Busha!
We all fall down!

Rain, Rain Go away... lyrics

Rain, Rain Go away
Come again another day.
DADDY wants to play.
Rain, rain, go away.

Rain, Rain Go away.
Come again another day.
MOMMY wants to play.
Rain, rain, go away.

Rain, Rain Go away.
Come again another day.
BROTHER wants to play.
Rain, rain, go away.

Rain, Rain Go away.
Come again another day.
SISTER wants to play.
Rain, rain, go away.

Rain, Rain Go away.
Come again another day.
BABY wants to play.
Rain, rain, go away.

Rain, Rain Go away.
Come again another day.
ALL THE FAMILY wants to play.
Rain, rain, go away.

Ding, dong, bell... lyrics

Ding, dong, bell,
Pussy's in the well.
Who put her in?
Little Johnny Green.

Who pulled her out?
Little Tommy Stout.

What a naughty boy was that,
To try to drown poor pussy cat,

Who never did him any harm,
And killed the mice in his father's barn.

Sardar writes to bill gates

Sardarji writes to Bill Gates about the PC and Windows problems:

• My child learned MS WORD now he wants MS SENTECE.
• I fine only RE-CYCLE but no RE-SCOOTER, I need that as I own VESPA SCOOTER.
• I see MS OFFICE but I need MS HOME as I use PC at home.
• Finaly, How is that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS.

The Two Toed Tree Toad

A tree-toad loved a she-toad
Who lived up in a tree.
He was a two-toed tree-toad,
But a three-toed toad was she.
The two-toed tree-toad tried to win
The three-toed she-toad's heart,
For the two-toed tree-toad loved the ground
That the three-toed tree-toad trod.
But the two-toed tree-toad tried in vain;
He couldn't please her whim.
From her tree-toad bower,
With her three-toed power,
The she-toad vetoed him.

Baa Baa Black Sheep - lyrics

Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full.

One for the master,
One for the dame,
And one for the little boy
Who lives down the lane.

Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full.

One to mend the jerseys
one to mend the socks
and one to mend the holes in
the little girls' frocks.

Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full.

See's Saw and Soar's Seesaw

Mr. See owned a saw.
And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.
Now, See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Before Soar saw See,
Which made Soar sore.
Had Soar seen See's saw
Before See sawed Soar's seesaw,
See's saw would not have sawed
Soar's seesaw.
So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
But it was sad to see Soar so sore
just because See's saw sawed
Soar's seesaw.

She Sells Sea Shells!

She sells sea shells on the sea shore.
The shells she sells are sea shells, im sure.
And if she sells sea shells on the sea shore,
Then l'm sure she sells seashore shells.

Beware of 2-way mirrors

When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc., How many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way mirror i.e., they can see you, but you can`t see them.

There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirrors in female changing rooms or bathroom or bedrooms.

It is very difficult to positively identify the surface by just looking at
it. So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type of Mirror we are looking at?

CONDUCT THIS SIMPLE TEST:

Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if
there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is a GENUINE mirror.

However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your nail, then BEWARE, IT IS A 2-WAY MIRROR! (There may be someone seeing you from the other side).

So remember, every time you see a mirror, do the "fingernail
test." It doesn`t cost you anything. It is simple to do.

This is a really good thing to do. The reason there is a gap on a real
mirror, is because the silver is on the back of the mirror UNDER the glass.

Whereas with a two-way mirror, the silver is on the surface. Keep it in mind!

Make sure and check every time you enter in hotel rooms.

Share this with your sisters, wife, daughters, friends, girl friends, lover, colleagues, etc.

Awesome Birthday quotes

• I hope that the coming year provides you with all the success and fulfillment your heart wishes.
• To love and be loved is the greatest happiness of existence. Happy birthday.
• A birthday happens just once in a person's lifetime. Today, I am celebrate the anniversary of your birth.
• With a new year of your journey, shall come more challenges, opportunities and greater success. May God bless you. Happy Birthday.
• With a friend like you, who cares and supports with such a vibrant zeal, life and world turns in to so much fun. Thanks and wishing you a very sweet birthday.
• A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age.
• I'm so lucky to have a friend like you. Happy Birthday!
• It must have been easier to remember your age when you were 25 every year
• Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
• You're not thirty; you're eighteen with twelve years of experience.
• May this birthday offer you as much joy and happiness as you give to all who know you.
• Age is just a number. A very revealing number, but still merely a number.
• Birthdays come but once a year. Make the most of today.
• Youth is a blunder; manhood a struggle; old age a regret. Happy Birthday!
• Happy birthday, you are a dear friend and treasure you greatly.
• Make the most of this special birthday.
• In youth are learn, in age we understand.

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

When the blazing sun is gone,
When he nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light,
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

Then the traveler in the dark
Thanks you for your tiny spark;
He could not see which way to go,
If you did not twinkle so.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

In the dark blue sky you keep,
And often through my curtains peep,
For you never shut your eye
Till the sun is in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

As your bright and tiny spark
Lights the traveler in the dark,
Through I know not what you are,
Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

How to detect A HIDDEN CAMERA In Trial Rooms?

In front of the trial room take your mobile and make sure that mobile can make calls.... .

Then enter into the trail room, take your mobile and make a call...
If u can`t make a call...!!There is a hidden camera...

This is due to the interference of fibre optic cable during the signal transfer.

Please forward this to your friends to educate this issue to the PUBLIC...
To prevent our innocent ladies from HIDDEN CAMERA...

Funny Software joke

Are you know the solution of Hair fall, skin problem,and etc problem
...
...
...
Answer: The Only solution is use "PhotoShop"

Poems written by husband to wife

I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then
I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light .
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

Roses are red, Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you.

Be an optimist..!

Say to yourself every morning :
Today is going to be a great day.
I can handle more than I think I can.
Things do not get better by worrying about them.
I can be satisfied if I try to do my best.
There is always something to be happy about.
I am going to make someone happy today.
It is not good to be down.
Life is great, make the most of it.
Be an optimist.

Funny SMS's - 1

Good looks catch the eyes but Good Personality catches the heart,
You are blessed with both!. FLATTERED?. Don't Be, it was sent to me, I just wanted you to read it.

Good morning...Have u done two of the most important things when you wakeup today?
1)Pray, so that u may live...
2)Take a bath-so that others may live too!

Can u pronounce good english:- read along woof, roof, loof, shoof,
shoof, woof, loof, roof, poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof,
shoof. Test results: U r a good dog. Now stop barking.

If u hide, i'll seek 4 u. If u r lost, i'll search 4 u. If u'll
leave, i'll wait 4 u. If days take u away 4m me, i'll fight 4 u.
But, if u stop sending msgs, i'll kill you.

I saw something in a shop window. It was stunning, cute, simply
adorable. I was supposed 2 buy it 4 u, then I realised it was my
reflection.

To live a life, one needs brains, reflex, perception, looks, IQ,
knowledge, way of ______expression & many more mental qualities. Hats off 2 u coz u manage 2 live without them.

Once an angel came up to me & granted me a wish. I asked for "world peace". That's impossible, he said. Then I asked him to give ubrains. He said "Let me try world peace"

From Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my
feelings for you have never changed. For me, you've always
been........ ... a headache !

If u save this msg, it means I'm cute. If u edit this, I'm still
cute. If u fwd this, you are spreading that i'm cute & if u erase
this, you are jealous of me coz i'm cute!

I mixed RUM in water and got drunk. I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk. I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again. Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!

The moment you are in tension

The moment you are in	TENSION
You will lose your	ATTENTION
Then you are in total	CONFUSION
And you'll feel	IRRITATION
This may spoil your personal	RELATIONS
Ultimately, you won't get	COOPERATION
And get things into	COMPLICATION
Then you may raise	CAUTION
And you have to take	MEDICATION
Why not try understanding the	SITUATION
And try to think about the	SOLUTION
Many problems will be solved by	DISCUSSION
Which will work out better in your	PROFESSION
Don't think this is a free	SUGGESTION
It is only for your	PREVENTION
If you understand my	INTENTION
You'll never come again into	TENSION

Rajnikant’s SMS

Only Rajnikant can do this...

What is Rajnikant’s E-mail ID ?

Gmail@Rajnikant.com

MIND IT :-)

Funny Job Application

This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald's restaurant in Florida....and they hired him because he was so honest and funny.

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Was less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and 'post-it' notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It ****ed.

AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That's why I'm applying.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 – 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50lbs?: 50lbs. of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? : I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

Rajinikanth can do anything

• Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
• When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. ...He is pushing the earth down.
• There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
• Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
• Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
• Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover.
• Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
• Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
• Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
• Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
• Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
• Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.
• Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
• The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
• Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.
• Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
• Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
• Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
• Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
• Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
• Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.
• Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
• Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
• Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.
• Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
• The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
• Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.
• Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.
• Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
• Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
• Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.
• Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
• Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.
• Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
• Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.
• Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
• Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
• Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
• Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
• Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The result? Mother Teresa.
• Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.
• Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
• Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
• Rajinikanth puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter.
• Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
• Rajinikanth can handle the truth.
• Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
• Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.
• Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.
• Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
• Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.
• Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet.
• Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
• Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
• Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
• The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
• Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
• Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
• Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.
• Rajinikant can lick his elbows.
• Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
• Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
• Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
• Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.
• When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult.
• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
• Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
•  The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.
• When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.
• Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
• Rajinikanth knows what women really want.
• Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.
• Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
• As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.
• Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon - HoneyMoon.
• Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
• Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
• Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's.
• Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths.
• To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.
• The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajinikanth's fist.
• Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.
• Rajinikanth's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.
• Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.
• Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikant”.
• There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
• Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
• Rajinikanth is a champion in the game "Hide n' seek", as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
• Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
• Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
• Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.
• We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
• If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth.
• Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.
• Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
• When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
• Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
• Rajinikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
• Rajnikanth doesn’t answer nature’s call nature answers Rajnikanth’s call.
• Rajnikanth can double click 2 icons at the same time.

Difference between Love and Marriage

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arriving on tops curvy tarmac.

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

TV has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"

A friend is like a…

A friend is like a flower, a daisy to be exact,

Or maybe like a brand new gate that never comes unlatched.

A friend is like an owl, both beautiful and wise.

Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost, whose spirit never dies.

A friends is like those blades of grass you can never mow,

Standing straight, tall, and proud in a perfect little row.

A friend is like a heart that goes strong until the end.

Where would we be in this world if we didn't have a friend?

MD at loss

On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the company noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.

He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you earn?"

The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?"

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, "Around here I pay people for working,not for standing around looking pretty!

Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.

Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, "And that applies to everybody in this company".

He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man I just fired?"

To which an amazing reply came - "He was the pizza delivery boy , Sir!"

Funny Newton laws for Software Engineer

• Law 1: Every Software Engineer continues his state of chatting or forwarding mails unless he is assigned work by manager.
• Law 2: The rate of change in the software is directly proportional to the payment received from client and takes place at the quick rate as when deadline force is applied.
• Law 3: For every Use Case Manifestation there is an equal but opposite Software Implementation.
• Law 4: Bugs can neither be created nor be removed from software by a developer. It can only be converted from one form to another. The total number of bugs in the software always remains constant.

A B C of Friendship....

Accepts you as you are

Believes in "you"

Calls you just to say "Hi"

Doesn't give up on you

Envisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)

Forgives your greatest mistakes

Gives unconditionally

Helps you always

Invites you over

Just because

Keeps you close at heart

Loves you for who you are

Makes a difference in your life

Never judges

Offers support

Picks you up

Quiets your fears

Raises your spirits

Says nice things about you

Tells you the truth when you need to hear it

Understands you

Values you

Walks beside you

Xxoxoxoxxxoooxxoxo

Yells when you won't listen and

Zaps you back to reality

Software Engineer Sms Joke -1

Night r going sleepless, days r going useless.
Oh God... Is this love?
God says...
Idiot, u r SOFTWARE ENGINEER..!:-;-)

Favorite Famous Quotations

• Imagination is more important than knowledge.
  
  -Albert Einstein
  
• If music be the food of love, play on.
  
  -Shakespeare
  
• The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.
  
  -Walt Disney
  
• Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
  
  -Henry Ford
  
• I skate where the puck is going to be, not where it has been.
  
  -Wayne Gretzky
  
• When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
  
  -Yogi Berra
  
• We may affirm absolutely that nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion.
  
  -Hegel
  
• The life which is unexamined is not worth living.
  
  -Socrates
  
• Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
  
  -M.K. Gandhi
  
• What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.
  
  -Zig Ziglar